- BY APRILL BRANDON – abrandon@vicad.com
- Originally published November 19, 2009 at midnight, updated November 19, 2009 at 5:30 p.m.
It’s an issue that is tearing this country apart. People are picking sides and it’s pitting sister against sister, cougar against tween.
Just who is better? Edward Cullen or Jacob Black?
To find out, we took two Twihards, one on Team Jacob and one on Team Edward, and made them answer questions about the characters and what makes their man the best.
May the best man (vampire/werewolf, whatever) win.
Q: describe your character and what makes him awesome.
A: Jacob. Pecs. Six-pack.
Of course, there are a lot of other reasons why Jacob is awesome but considering I’m staring at his picture right now … make … thinking … hard … (drool) …
OK, OK. I put the picture away. Jacob is the ultimate best friend, the guy who loves you unconditionally and would do anything for you. He’s the guy that makes you feel better, not the one that makes you nervous and obsessed. he has a strong sense of family, of duty and of love.
And did I mention his pecs?
Q: why do you think your guy is better than the other?
A: Well, to start with, Edward is … hmm … how to put this delicately? Edward is DEAD! He’s dead, people. Not to mention, he’s roughly 100 years older than Bella. That’s not even robbing the cradle. That’s pretty much robbing the twinkle in Bella’s great-grandparent’s eyes.
But Jacob, ah yes, Jacob. He’s warm, loyal, funny, brave, good-looking, oh, and um, alive. He’s there to pick up the pieces after Edward shatters Bella’s heart. He’s the best of both worlds: a big, strong wolf ready to lay his life down to protect you and a big strong guy (with incredible pecs) willing to lay his life down to protect you.
Q: Who would win in a fight, Edward or Jacob? why?
A: Jacob, hands down. Have you seen those pecs?
Q: Who would win in a fight, Team Jacob fans or Team Edward fans? why?
A: I’m going to go with Team Jacob fans. Wait, are we allowed to use weapons? No? Bummer.
Well, I’m still going to go with Team Jacob fans. Girls may love them some Edward, but women love Jacob, and if it came down to it, we could twist you vampire lovin’ chicks into pretzels.
Q: to defend your guy’s honor, list five insults against the other guy.
A: 1. You know the only thing worse than someone who is emo? someone who is an emo-vamp. “Oh, I’m so brooding and whiny cause I ate some people back in the day. Woe is me.” get over it, wussy.
2. No one wants to cuddle with a glacier.
3. If I wanted to spend time with a man with Victorian-era values, I could just hang out with my grandpa. Plus, my grandpa doesn’t want to eat me.
4. Hey, Edward, the coroner called. You’re still dead, champ.
5. How about dating someone your own age? Like the Queen of England (although even she’s a little young for you, dude).
Q: Who should Bella choose and why?
A: Edward. Momma wants Jacob all to herself.
Q: describe your character and what makes him awesome.
A: Edward is what every woman fantasizes about. He’s got it all. He’s mysterious, attractive, charming, smart, a gentleman and completely loyal to the woman he loves. What’s not to love?
Q: why do you think your guy is better than the other?
A: Aside from what I just described above? He’s more experienced and knows what he wants. He’s cautious and more calculated with his decisions, unlike Jacob who is still young and has problems controlling his temper.
Q: Who would win in a fight, Edward or Jacob? why?
A: Physically, I think they can both take each other on pretty well, but Edward definitely has the advantage because of his experience and ability to read Jacob’s mind, so he can anticipate his every move.
Q: Who would win in a fight, Team Jacob fans or Team Edward fans? why?
A: Not entirely sure on that one, but I do believe there are more Team Edward fans out there. most of these girls are staying loyal to their first love: Edward. so Team Jacob might be out numbered there.
Q: to defend your guy’s honor, list five insults against the other guy.
A: 1. You want a real man, not a pup.
2. Edward sparkles like diamonds, and diamonds are a girl’s best friend. a pup is just a pet.
3. Edward won’t fall asleep and drool all over you.
4. Edward doesn’t abandon you to hang out with the “guys” like Jacob does.
5. are men supposed to have fleas?
Q: Who should Bella choose and why?
A: Edward is definitely the choice! They found each other irresistible from the very beginning and can’t stay away from each other, no matter how hard they try. Like Edward said to Bella, “You are my life now.” that is a thousand times more romantic than worrying if your man might “imprint” on someone else. Bummer.
- Print
- •
- Share
- Share this item
Send this to a friend
- Grab the link
Copy and paste the link:
- Blog about it
Blog about this page.
- Close
- •
- Favorite
Recent Comments